A break

A break is what I have been waiting for.

We took a break with some dear friends who had been away for the summer on Friday night and enjoyed the sunset and sea breeze in Barra. Although, I think all of us would have welcomed something more akin to a gale than a breeze; we were sweating!

We received a welcome break in the weather yesterday when the clouds in our mostly cloudy sky burst open and poured down rain on us all afternoon! Ayden was jumping around the kitchen unsure if he should be afraid or enthralled by the thunder. It didn’t take long for him to connect the flash with the coming thunder and it was fun to watch him wait for the loud crack or low, long rumble. Willow napped really well with the noise of the rain pounding on the tarp outside. We slept comfortably last night.

Today Willow woke up in a dark mood! Yesterday she was a little bit more needy than normal but today she has fussed or complained throughout her time spent awake – which hasn’t been much, actually. She has slept most of the day, though rather fitfully. We are rocking and cuddling her. She wants to nurse but doesn’t want to nurse then loses interest. She will be three months on Wednesday and my guess is that she has hit a growth spurt and is simply a bit uncomfortable. We’ll see how she is when she wakes up. She is napping well right now and so is Ayden – a tall glass of ice water and a nice break.

I feel that my mind has been full up for the last few days. Do you ever get that feeling like you need to find a quiet, beautiful place and just sit there and stare, doing nothing and trying to think of nothing? The ocean has always been that place for me. When I didn’t live near the ocean it was times like this that I yearned for it the most. When trying to make sense of the jumble of noise in my head.

I need the sea because it teaches me.
I don’t know if I learn music or awareness, if it’s a single wave or its vast existence, or only its harsh voice or its shining suggestion of fishes and ships.
The fact is that until I fall asleep, in some magnetic way I move in the university of the waves.

Pablo Neruda, The Sea

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