holiday waiting

It’s getting busy around here now. We are in the midst of holiday special orders; pies and rolls for American Thanksgiving went out two weeks ago, the flyer for Christmas cookie platters went up last week, and folks heading home for Christmas are taking our coffee back as gifts to share. It’s good. We are happy and busy and keeping our cool. It is exciting to see old friends coming back through the door. We greet our Canadian and American friends with warm hand shakes or half hugs and the Italian, French, and French Canadian friends with kisses on both cheeks. They ooh and aah over our little ones and comment on how big they have grown. They feed them pastries and let them drink their double Mochas. It is good.

In all the hustle bustle of life these days – mostly made up of pâte brisée, fruit, and coffee grinds – I realize how easy it has been to miss my neighbors around the corner. I barely see them at all and after a summer of chatting in the twilight or taking our kids to the beach together I kind of miss it. I haven’t yet figured out how to fuse the two lives together. But I am realizing the need to be more intentional with those relationships.

Sunday. We go to church in the morning where I scramble around little children poised over their angel and shepherd drawings with paint, glue, and glitter. Then we come home, eat a light lunch, and the kids nap. Ben and I hide out. We work on projects we enjoy or read or watch football. We don’t do anything shop related if we can help it. We sabbath. It is so refreshing and relaxing, allowing us to move into the rest of the week with a grace we lacked last season.

The children are enjoying the holidays; I think they love the cookie decorating and Christmas music the most. Or maybe it’s the continued anticipation of wonderful things to come. After naps we will make Christmas ornaments. Before bed we will gather around the tree and read our advent reading. On Saturday the Abuelos arrive. On Christmas day Jesus arrived so many years ago as a little baby from heaven. I am anticipating the now and the not yet; waiting for the first coming and the second. I have felt a certain lack, a desire for more. I have felt a sense of being ‘less than’ and of ‘falling short.’ But as I read Bonhoeffer a couple days ago I understood that even this lack is worship. Even this that I felt ashamed of, a desperate need to grow, is also loving Him. So I feel a peace as I continue to wait.

Now as long as the tree can stay alive a couple more weeks…

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