I am listening and waiting and watching. I am eager in anticipation and trying to pace myself on this journey so that I don’t miss a glimpse of that view after the hard climb. Running headlong to the finish line is not the purpose of Lent. I want to know. Know deep and wide. It takes time to learn to reach out to this timeless God; even when He is constantly reaching out for us.
This week I have been corrected and stopped short by my own lack and Christ’s completeness. I have seen places where I fail and fill in the emptiness not with searching after God but with my own hollow attempts at fulfillment.
Catch me in my aimless scurrying, Lord, and hold me in this Lenten season; hold my heart to the beat of your grace and create in me a resting place, a kneeling place, a tip-toe place… Ted Loder
I have been reading the gospel, trying to get back to Jesus as he was on earth. Dirty feet, growling belly, wresting with his friends, crying with the lepers, laughing. Oh, the laughing. I imagine there must have been so much laughter. I like to listen to Rich Mullins when I try to picture Jesus. Something about his raw honesty in song writing always helps me see the picture a little clearer.
And thinking about Jesus brings in the world and the pain and the desperation in so many corners of the earth. I cry out to him and I wait, not clear about my waiting, ”but filled with a restlessness, daring to imagine that You are not finished yet.”
I am searching out a cleft in the rock, not just for me but for my family. A place of safety and rest where we can learn to see together.