Little miss Estella Marie is here. She took her time in coming and I was going crazy the last few weeks, but come she did on September 9th. And once she had made up her mind to come, boy, did she come! We had planned on a home birth with my amazing midwife Nancy. I had organized candles, affirmations cards, snacks, and was anticipating a gentle, centering birth like I had when we welcomed Liam two years ago. What I got was a mad rush; labor was an overwhelming, painful, out of control experience. My mother was my midwife and doula, my husband was my strength, as he always is. Together they supported me as I fought my way through the chaos of labor until I caught Stella into my arms, crying and strong. Labor lasted about 2 hours. Relieved that all had gone well, my mom tucked me into bed while Ben made us eggs benedict to celebrate.
The name we had chosen didn’t fit her and it took us some time to find her name. She was born with her face toward the sky and Nancy told me babies born this way are called star gazers, so Estella seemed appropriate. Stella’s was not the birth I expected or wanted, but it is the one I was gifted and I am a stronger person now.
Stella is sweet and thoughtful. She sleeps well and is happy when she’s awake. We all adore her and Liam, especially, dotes on her.
Three weeks later and I am feeling well. We enjoyed a bonfire the evening of the autumnal equinox to welcome in the new season and the first of October saw us at a local pumpkin patch collecting pumpkins and mums. I love Fall. During those moments when I feel overwhelmed by life with four children it has been a help to know that it is Fall. I am not supposed to rush or hurry to enjoy every moment like we do in the Summer, I am free to calm and quiet. I am meant to set aside the math worksheets and watch the children climb trees in the cooler temperatures. I can sit and enjoy the lengthening shadows as the sun sets over the tree line. I can mix up pumpkin bread and spiced scones and brew a pot of tea. It is the season for quieting and letting go.
The first two photos were taken by Patience Salgado. She walked into my room like an old friend and gave me the gift of a listening ear and some amazing photos. Please check out her work and her beautiful spirit here.